| the next time i meet a male filipino nurse, i'm going to totally punch him in the face. not because i hate male filipino nurses, but because every instructor i have is like, "you remind me of (insert filipino nurse's name)". i know, it's not they're fault... but i gotta punch somebody! i cant be going around punching my instructors!
i'm drunk.
i met the one of the guys one of my instructors compared me to... i would punch him in teh face... if he weren't so damn cool! | comments: Leave a comment   |
| the door opens and a young man gestures the young lady with him to enter. she politely says thank you and enters while he follows two steps behind. she wears pearl earrings, has a full length winter coat, sensible shoes, and hair neatly pulled back. he wears a midlength conservative coat, dress pants and shirt, a tie?, and a yarmulke held in place with a silver fastener.
there's an awkwardness to their combined gait. he's about 6'2". she's pushing 4'11". he offers to pick up her coffee while she chooses a table in the corner. the place is empty, save for me at the NEXT TABLE OVER. out of the entire place, they sit near me while i get my study on. at least i can hear what they're saying! i've got my earbuds in, but turn off the ipod because i'm sneaky sneaky. he returns with a coffee in each hand and they go to the creameteria. you know, the place where they have the cream, sugar, etc.
he says the coolest thing, "hey, they have honey!" she is dazzled by his keen observation skills and just barely holds back years of repressed passion in this public forum of a coffeeshop.
she asks him which he thinks is sweeter: honey or sugar.
i'm waiting for some knock-her-out of her panties rico suave response while he ponders the question and replies with "honey". then, with a worried look on his face, "why?"
she says, "i think honey also."
he says something that totally shocks me: "oh. i thought it was some kind of trick."
that's EXACTLY what i was thinking too! although we do not come from the same place, we are both conditioned to be wary of the trickery. girls are so tricky, even when they're not. haha
the conversation continues toward scientific vs creative intelligence which i feel is an awesome jump off topic for a first/blind date. then she lets him talk about himself for a bit, so i watch. he's squirming and looking all over the shop not making eye contact. either it's a cultural thing, a shy guy thing, or he's afraid he'll turn to stone! haha.
as interesting as this first date was, i wished them luck and continued on getting my study.on.
good luck to everybody else working on dating and falling in/staying in love! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| sometimes i wonder if i forgot to do something along the way.
it's natural, i guess, what with everyone doing their thangs, wiggling their wangs, twiddling their twangs... my thang needs to be done too. i'm working on it. not sure about those other things, but it sounds like it might be nice to get my wang wiggled or my twang twiddled.
my concerns were casually mentioned to popdukes who revealed that no two people have the same path in this life, so time can be better spent living rather than comparing. just do what you can.
well, duh! it sounds so simple when he says it.
keep on trucking muthatrucka. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| i've been feeling pretty good lately. i may even considering using 'awesome' instead of 'pretty good'. consider it considered: 'awesome' it is.
it's not just one thing that the cause. it's just about everything, except one thing. why focus on one thing everything else comes with an overabundance of awesome? it's like finding a finger in my pizza. just eat around it! not gonna let some dismembered finger adulterate the awesomeness inherent in the single most awesomest culinary gift from the heavens that is pizza. it's not the pizza's fault!
i think i'm gonna order a finger pizza. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| there's a movie. it's called 'the protector'. starring tony jaa. have you seen it? you should. i just turned on the tv, flipped to the HD channels and BAM! tony jaa, in a cute red hanky around his neck, is KICKING THE CRAP out of probably 150 dudes in black suits. these guys are just pouring in from all over and tony jaa is not just beating these guys up in the traditional sense of the phrase, but rather, in some abstract, crunchy multidisarticulational, nonstop orgasm, as if salvador dali and bruce lee got together and used in vitro fertilization to create this moment in the movie. i mean, i cant even begin to describe it without getting all amped and then i'd have to kick someone's ass. go see it.
and if you HAVE scene it, that's how i'm feeling about academically and personally right now.
whodve thought that committing to the study really pays off? i'm amazed. i got good grades AND passed the practice licensing exam at the end of the 1st quarter. found out this practice test covered more than what we learned in class, so i'm like totally souped.
just cant get lazy now.
this is exactly what i've been missing: the motivation. i just felt like crap in the sewer just getting by before. i was lost and apprehensive when work was done and i couldn't find anything else to do with myself. (except the obvious low five for that quick boost). i started eating a lot and was down in the dumps and just didnt feel positive in any aspect of my life. it feels like it was so long ago, but it really hasnt been.
so yea. quarter 1 is done: pWn3d! now into quarter 2 and the subject matter is getting way more interesting.
even been going to the gym, run/walking 25 miles a week now. would be sweet if i could run it all... but youve gotta start somewhere, eh? it's awesome how running helps me organize my thoughts and think through the issues with greater clarity.
i feel good. well. whatever. awesome? yea, that's a good word to describe how i feel.
get motivated! set goals! DO IT!
goals:
-do well in school - so far so good
-run/walk 20 miles/week - up to 25 miles/week
-eat less fast food - salads and sammich wraps containing spinach, carrots, for lunch each day.
- TURN 30 - not yet baby... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| one of my favorite things in life is to be driven around.
seriously. when my sisters are home, i ask them to drive me around. not to any place in particular, or for any other reason than to just chill and talk. one of them drives while i sit and smoke crack and observe life going on around me. (i dont usually get to do that since i have to not smoke crack and pay attention to the road. i dont really smoke crack though, not that i have to explain why i am the way i are.) gives us a chance to really talk since we're always so busy doing other crap.
i was telling my sister last night, it wasn't until recent times that i realized just how shallow i used to be. i mean, duh. i didnt even THINK. about anything! i was just a zombie. not like i'm so deep now, but i never thought about the way the things i said and did affected people. which i guess makes me a certified jerk. AND, i never really put any thought into what i was like, or even what i liked doing. whatev
re: life - it keeps going, so just do something
"i'd be apathetic if i weren't so lethargic."
been working out.
@ 18, i was 140
before xmas, i was 181. moo.
@ now, i'm 172.
in 3 months, i will be less than 160.
let's set goals for ourselves, shall we?
moo.
the other day i was riding in my friend's car. we were leaving a parking spot at a shopping center and 2 17 yr old girls (2 of them, not 217 of them. twas not a clown car.) were pulling out of the spot directly in front of us so we were facing each other. they were chewing gum. i said they remind me of cows chewing their cud. so i started mooing. the doors and windows of both vehicles were closed. i kept staring straight ahead and mooing. i dont know if they heard me, or if they could read my lips: MOOO. but it sure seemed like they had a problem staring at 2 hot dudes. not our fault we're super hot.
moo.
maybe they wanted to bang. friend said that was a problem for him cuz most of the time they dont even care what his name is. they just want to bang. i said, that i had the same problem.
moo. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| ive been going through this thing where all of a sudden i want to have a hundred
children. now. i know the new season of jon & kate +8 on monday nights on tlc
is the main reason, but i don't care. want. raise 'em up as my own little army
of mixed-with-my-dna ninjas/cyborgs/nurses. i figured being a ninja would be
helpful in life in terms of critical thinking skills, katana skills, and other
awesome ninja skills. the same could be said about cyborgs and nurses, obviously
with their own unique skillset (skills set? skill set? skills et? i just typed
"kill" a bunch of times. *creeps*) they could even mix and match skills to
optimize their future living levels as they gain XP through acclimation into
society as life processes continue to acquire knowledge by decision making and
acceptance of the consequences of their actions.
yea.
a hundred.
it would be sweet.
i hope they would also be happy babies and give and get love and all that crap
to/from me. id be sad if they wouldn't want their dad around cuz they
thought they were too cool for school. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | that song from ferris bueller's day off - chickachickaaaa; let me love you down | | Subject: | 30, 23 | | Time: | 08:42 pm |
|
| whatever it is, it's freakin me out.
i watch a lot of tv. i do my best. there was an episode of friends that did highlights of everyone turning 30 on the show. how phoebe lost a whole year cuz wah wah wah. how rachel did the math and realized that she'd have to be with the guy she's supposed to marry and he goes riding by on the scooter. how monica was krunk at her bday and fell. haha. that was funny. obviously since i wrote 'haha' before. duh.
i had lunch at this place today that offered DRINK TOWERS. WANT. let's go soon! i sat at the bar and ordered the godfather. it was a roast beef sammich. not bad. frieds were good. got gravy and smothered it like mmmmmmm. i was eavesdropping while i was eating and this old dude near me is telling this other old dude about his daughter's sexytime who just turned 30 and was all awesome.
so the friends episode was last night. lunch today was at lunch today. i just caught an airing of coupling on bbc 169 on VZ fios. i heart british funnies. not sure if they call them 'funnies' over there, but i can imagine them doing so... so yea! so this guy talks 'a lot of rubbish' when asking girls out and this chick talks 'a lot of rubbish' when being axed out, so it was perfect. right? i guess they get nervous and just say dumb shit like, did you push the button? and she's all, no, they do that on their own? referring to her boobs, and was referring to the lift button. so then they had this whole conversation where it ended up being like, 'then i guess it's a good thing i'm not asking you out!' but he r3ally was... so that's why it was funny? haha them witty brits. in the end, she said, 'happy 30th bday'.
it's cr33py. like when i see pictures of people with mouths for eyes.
what else is cr3epy? one time i rented that movie the number 23 with jim carrey. watched it with my sister. they were talking about all the combinations that equal 23 and when it was 9:14 pm in the movie, it was 9:14 pm on my cable box. my sister saw it too. we were both like, 'holy crap that's creepy.' or something cooler. i got the chills and felt all crazed inside like that's the universe telling me something frikkin important and not being able to remember what it was!
damn. almost everyone i know is turning 30... or isnt. big party? let's do it.
movie out called the bucket list. looks good. i should make a EO20s list: things that should be done by the birthday. i wonder if r. kelly is around. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Male cube rat: What are we doing for lunch? I'm craving meat.
Female cube rat #1, grinning: What kind of meat?
Male cube rat: Hmmm... A big, juicy steak, with a side of fried chicken.
Female cube rat #2: How about a Reuben sandwich?
Male cube rat: No, no, I don't want female meat -- I want man meat!
All within earshot: Reeeally?!
Male cube rat: Awww, crap.
overheardinnewyork | | comments: Leave a comment |
| beeeyotch!
screaming in my head as loud as i could, on the outside i really said, 'ow!' all cool like a little bitch. the nurse lady was all, 'sorry' like she's got CIPA:
Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis (CIPA) is a very rare inherited disorder of the nervous system which prevents the sensation of pain, heat, and cold. A person with CIPA cannot feel pain or differentiate extreme temperatures. "Anhidrosis" means the body does not sweat, and "congenital" means that the condition is present from birth.
i saw that on an episode of house on fox tuesdays. it was nuts.
having someone administer me a super cocktail of awesomeness to be prevent suckiness was pretty cool considering i'm in the stream. gaining steam. cleveland steamer. just popped in my head? the visual.was.gross.
someone else jabbed me with a hollow spear to collect a few drops of my lifeblood to ask the all knowing oracle, who is actually a creature from the 4th dimension and can just see everything that has ever happened... but likes doing these things for us, if i'm fit for battle with the turd burglers (or turglers, what have you) or if i gots to gets more shots. TITERS! (A titer is a measurement of the amount or concentration of a substance in a solution. It usually refers to the amount of medicine or antibodies found in a patient's blood.) mount up.
so the headmaster is all 'ya'll needs to get up on the appropriate footwear prior being all up in this piece.' and i'm like 'yea whatever!' but alas, i went to the mall. it was pretty scary. i dont usually go to the mall. not since a brazillion years ago. i went to the shop where a shopkeeper inquired if i be needing any assistance (would i BE fly on a plane to new york? it depends.) i said, 'i'm looking for the most comfortable shoes in the world. ever. the whole world. and the infinite number of dimensions parallel to our own.' maybe not the last line. but that's what i was looking for. 'and it's gotta be white' dude was like, 'great! weirdo!' in his head. on the outside, he said, 'surely sir, here are a few white shoes... ' and all that and on and on. he really wanted me to buy from him. i felt the effort. i was pleased. DO NOT KILL THIS SHOE BOY. GIVE HIM AN A! i guess doing a service job with a good attitude and not being all cranky really does make a difference for both parties... unlike my visit to the unemployment office this morning. she helped me out though, so that was cool.
i wondered if her face remembers the last time she'd smiled. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| to be honest for a couple minutes here: i have been doing nothing for about three months now. yup. three months. yow! i'm loling cuz that just seems so absurd. how could i have done nothing for three months? it's pretty easy i guess. it started out oh so exciting cuz it was supposed to be a fresh start for me! i went out with this fervor ready to take on the next thoi-o-thoing.
i had it all planned out. i did: i'd do this, this, and this and they said they'd do this and i'd get this. so i was all, ya know, and being like, oh baby. but then i find out that if i got that, then i'd be not what i was supposed to be. WHATEVER! but they're gonna pay...
then a bunch of stuff happened. and i was like, whoa. for serious. whoa.
then i went to a party. i was like, sweet! i'm gonna wear my awesome new blue shirt that i got 2 months ago! i put it on and i was like, dude. my belly got huge! *super sad face* they played some good music so i danced a bit. i got sweaty. and winded. it sucked.
i went home and looked at myself in the mirror. i said, wtf? i suck at life!
all the gyms in my area are like a billion US dollars a month! well, maybe in my town. i didnt look at gyms outside of my town. lazy! ha. it's funny. but i did find one that was right in my price range! i was all BOOYAH! *all excited* went at noon on a wednesday to take the bootcamp class. i like taking classes. it's more motivating to me to work cardio than on my own cuz i'm lazy. but my sense of humiliation is stronger, so i'd work through the pain and never give up. never surrender. i dont wanna be one of those yitches that leave with 15 minutes left. no way. not gonna be me. all i gotta do is show up and my pride will take over. even though i'm in super pain right now. it's worth it.
school started again. training for a license. license to be all rico suave and bladow!
who's the suck now! almost not me. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| why is just about every men's deodorant out there !!!!? i feel sorry for the old guy who just needs REGULAR deodorant... like me. i just want it to work and smell fresh and clean... not some super-arctic-ficial blast of marketing and menthol. even old spice, while doesn't explicitly claim XTREMEness, they do offer a somewhat subtler alternative known as RED ZONE!! crazy.
i'm standing in the men's deodorant section of cvs for what seemed like 20 minutes. maybe 30. axe or tag or rgx or some other 3 letter xtreme spray on deodorant had it: PANTHER. it looked awesome. there was a panther eye looking RIGHT AT ME as if it was checking to see if i were man enough to wield such power... or if i were some poseur about to waste 4.99 US dollars. i ain't no poseur! so i left it there and had to stop myself from going to the ladies' section and picking up degree for women: shower clean. reason being this: speed stick makes an irish spring scent! deodorant that smells like soap! that's like, i don't know... the most amazing idea in the history of personal hygeneien (note to self: look up how to spell this later)!@!12#4123!@2 so i bought it. i'm pretty excited. ever since degree added some pH balance to the late degree shower clean for all sexes, i felt a bit immasculated(emasculated?) whenever i bought ladies' deodorant. i don't do it anymore. i swear.
edit after trip to bathroom: sweet. i use irish spring soap. i love it. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| theres this new guy at work. seems like a nice enough guy. hes about 6'5", approx 300 lbs and acts like a cool high school superjock. kinda reminds me of a hairless bear. we joke around a lot at work cuz the job is so stressful, with a little splash of hopeless, that we gotta let it out sometimes. we steal personal stuff from people's desks to take pictures as a proof of life when we hold whatever it is for ransom. i have this m&m doll action figure that my other coworker sconsin drew red bloodshottedness in its eyes. oh yea, it had a santa hat affixed to its head cuz it was a xxxmas edition or something. sometime last week, i got an email with a picture of my m&m action figure. it had on an mspainted blindfold with text that said if i ever wanted to see him again, i had to go out for drinks later. which was cool cuz i like to drink. we talk about ufc stuff cuz his cousin is a fighter and i like to watch fights. he also likes to demonstrate moves on everyone cuz he can i guess. i offer chestbumps cuz it's like bouncing off a huge, bouncy molehill. first time i went all in and went flying down the cube aisle. chestbumps dont occur all too often now: apparently it's not professional. go figure. we're about the same age: him, me, sconsin; so we're always messing around. not in a prison setting way or anything where we shank each other or make the others hold our turned out pockets as we walk around, it's just to let off steam. it makes the days there bearable.
friday, we had a meeting about work related crap. that was fine, nothing exciting to report. but afterward, bossman, ursine coworker, and myself were walking back down the hall. i thought it'd be fun to jump and bounce off ursa major. he thought it'd be fun to run me down like frank white 'the big show' vs ray mysterio jr. but i wasnt having it. so what if he's twice my size!? so i stood my ground and tried to defend my cute but ass a quick swipe of his paw knocked my glasses off. i thought there'd be a lull in the action for me to grab 'em to get them out of the way. someone must've stolen the 'q' section of the dictionary cuz he don't know the meaning of the word quit! he picked me up and "pretended" to drop me on his knee. so being the big dumb bear that he is, placed my lower back on his knee. then he did it again. yay! great fun. however, that's how it was in his mind. in reality, the knee went smashing into my lower left back, an unprotected section that contained the fragile left kidney that does its best to filter out the badstuff so i can pee. [i like to pee. peeing frees me from what i'm 'supposed' to do cuz i'm doing something i've gotta do!] the second time wasn't so bad, only because i was already in pain. actually, the second time pretty horrible. next thing i know, i'm face down trying to slow my quickened breathing as i attempt to regain composure and stand. stand, i did not, for about 10 minutes. when i finally did get back to my feet, i told him, 'dude, you're twice my size baby! you gotta be delicate with me!' he felt pretty badly afterwards. kept blaming the stress from the job and saying he was sorry. he's just a big, dumb bear and i couldn't stay madd at him! not sure if i'd throw a half-me-size coworker around like that, but hey, it happens. boys will be boys. at least now i'm getting free drinks next week, and luckily for me, no blood in the urine. success! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| last weekend the whip was acting like a bee-yotch, so i left it at home to sulk on saturday morning as i walked to the gym in an effort to get my meatbag less baggy and more... meaty. or something. it was a pretty interesting walk from my place, up the road about 2.5 miles, passed a bunch of fast food joints, strip malls, and then the gymecologist. i saw a creek running under the road. there was a weird tree with flowers that looked like trumpets? and apples? i got a pic somewhere. could be in my pocket, can you reach in there and grab it for me? some things you just don't notice driving everywhere.
why drive when you can walk/run/fly? started thinking about how d-u-m it is to be driving 5 miles round-trip to lift and run a mile or 2 on a treadmill. kinda silly when you really think aboot it, but only when you got the time. can't be doing that on your lunch hour, my lunch hour anyway.
got to the gym already sweating. stretched the crotch and aired it out, also whatever else that needed stretching. got my lift on. stretched some more. then ran back to my place. felt pretty good to go somewhere without driving. felt so damn good i did it again on sunday.
*note to self: gold bond's medicated powder for tingly sack and chafe prevention.
i like greeting people as i take my walks. some say hi back. some look away. some want to make out with me. well, no they don't. these are people walking somewhere, just like me. why shouldnt i be able to extend a greeting? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| last night i did some reading for my class about the tree of life! ooooh the tree of life. ya, it's exciting donchaknow?
anyway, in the reading i learned a little something about my friend the giraffe and the process in which the males determine the sex-ability of the female giraffes:
step 1. male rubs head on female rump (just like humans)
step 2. female urinates in male's mouth (just like ...)
step 3. male tastes the estrus goodness (ooooh yea!!!)
step 4. if estrus, then... PROFIT!!!
of course, theres fighting amongst males for right-to-mate status... but who wants to hear about fighting when there's urine tasting going on!?!?
makes me happy to be back in school!
 | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ry_digga's journal
